You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
