dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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