They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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