He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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