I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
