so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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