i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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