Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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