I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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