I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
