shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
