Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Welp...herpes.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
