Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
