On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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