what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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