is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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