Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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