Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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