dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize