just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Vodka?
Forever.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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