forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize