is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
