i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
