talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
