What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
