great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
