My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
