She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
