Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
