I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize