How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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