I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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