We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
