i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
