i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
