I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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