I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize