Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
