Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
