I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
