can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
