the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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