Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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