...so i touched it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
