I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
