I'm jealous of your bromance
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize