walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
