we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
