I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
