...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
this boner is exhausting
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
