ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
