she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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