There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
