Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
