your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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