walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
