I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
