at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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