tell your sister to shave her snatch
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
where does the pee come out of this thing
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
