never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
