Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
