Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize