why didn't you poke me back
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
