Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
