My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize