I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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