girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
