Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
