he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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