If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
