this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm too high and old for this...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
