so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
