Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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