I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
